In a recent post, I took a look at my Top 5 favorite pro wrestlers of all time.
Today, I take a look at the Top 5 Worst Gimmicks Ever. The lowest of the low, the odd, crazy, and downright dumb character gimmicks that make (or made) me insta-change the channel or fight to hold back from vomiting all over the television.
5. Brodus Clay
Picture a six-foot-six, near 400 pounder that bills himself as the “Funkasaurus” that bursts onto the stage in a track suit and hat, accompanied by two gorgeous dancing girls, coming down to the ring, dancing horribly, and then shimmying that entire massive frame, like some supermodel trying to shake her ass.
I have to continually caution myself to never eat during WWE RAW, and all foods and liquids must be consumed at LEAST one hour prior to viewing for fear of coating my entire living room in wretch.
4. Zach Ryder
Where Jersey Shore meets professional wrestling, Ryder’s catchprhases include turing any word with an “oh” sound intro “Bro”, and tags “ski” onto everything. Bro-ski. Ho-ski. His signature? “Woo-WOO-Woo!” With a face only a mother could love, I can’t tell how this kid so willingly embarasses himself night in and night out.
Kevin Nash. Dressed up as the Wizard of Oz. Managed by Merlin the Wizard.
This really happened, folks.
2. The Red Rooster
Terry Taylor. Hair dyed red like a rooster’s comb. Red tights and ring coat, strutting around and pecking like a rooster. ‘Nuff said.
1. The Gobbledy Gooker
Imagine… a world where a giant egg is promoted around the mighty World Wrestling Federation. For weeks, shots of this egg are shown on TV and at events, with everyone in the company wondering just what the hell was going on with it.
You’ve entered… Survivor Series 1990. The egg crumbles and breaks, and a half-man, half-turkey hybrid freak “hatches” from the egg and proceeds to dance around the ring with announcer Mean Gene Okerlund.
Where’s the alcohol?!?
So there you have it. A mix of modern and historical crap. What’s YOUR worst gimmicks ever?